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Four Year Strong: Explains it all

15/01/10 || Smalley

Whoo boy; Smalley, what the hell have you gotten yourself into now? You see, when I first opened the “Explains it all” album file, none of the songs had their names listed, and I hadn’t looked for the track listing on the Net yet, so I just started listening; I heard some old-fashioned do-wopping at the beginning of the first song, then it went punk on me. Not really what I wanted to hear, but still, not quite awful at any rate.

Then the second song was a cover song that I recognized, and I was a bit surprised that they put the cover song this early on the record, but still, no big deal.

Then I started listening to the third song, recognized what it was after ten seconds, and realized… THIS ENTIRE ALBUM IS NOTHING BUT PUNK-IFIED COVERS OF NON-PUNK SONGS. And it’s not the cool, ballsy, old-school punk like The Ramones or The Sex Pistols, it’s that whiny, modern, SoCal kind of punk. Bleck. So, just for kicks (and because “Explains it all” doesn’t deserve any more effort), here are some track-by-track thoughts…

“So much for the afterglow” (Everclear cover): Never heard the original, and I don’t care to either, so at least FYS doesn’t start on too annoying a note, by screwing up a song I used to like (or maybe even still do?). The aforementioned do-wopping part was pretty cool, and non-annoying as well, so I’m gonna say this is the best track on the album (for me, at least); from this point onward, abandon all hope.

“Absolutely (story of a girl)” (Nine Days cover): Liked the original a million years ago, but I never needed to hear it again, especially a whiny punk version of it. Still, at least this one sounds pretty similar to the original (besides the dumb back-up vocals, that is).

“Ironic” (Alanis Morissette cover): Hated the original, and I sure don’t like this version any better; fuck you guys for making me have to listen to Morissette again, even if just indirectly. Somebody go tell her the song fails at irony, by the way.

“Bullet with butterfly wings” (Smashing Pumpkins cover): Never really liked the original (Billy’s voice is Kryptonite to me), and I don’t like this one either. Lol at FYS for trying to keep their cover pissed-off sounding like the original and make it happy-go-lucky at the same time.

“Semi-charmed life” (Third Eye Blind cover): Kind of liked the original when I was 10, but no longer. Guess what I think about this version?

“Spiderwebs” (No Doubt cover): I still like the original version somewhat, and I don’t get to hear Gwen Stefani’s whinily-sexy voice here, so no thanks. And it’s kind of redundant to do a punk-ifed version of a song that was already pretty punk-y, isn’t it? Just means this cover is the whiniest one of them all.

“Roll to me” (Del Amitri cover): Didn’t like the original, and… well, you should know the rest. Extra thumbs down for the very unnecessarily-loud gang vocals here.

“Fly” (Sugar Ray cover): Liked the original once upon a time, but it was beaten into my brain a few dozen times back then. Has some guy from a band called Gym Class Heroes guesting on vocals; think he was actually able to save this version?

“In bloom” (Nirvana cover): Still like the original, but Four Year Strong cocked up the intro, so I thought this was going to be a cover of that awful Puddle Of Mudd song “Control”; fortunately it wasn’t, but FYS still probably did more damage to Nirvana’s legacy with this than Courtney Love could ever hope to. They messed up that awesome centerpiece solo, too!

“She really loved you” (Reach The Sky cover): Never heard the original, which doesn’t help this version sound any better. Moving on.

“She’s so high” (Tal Bachman cover): Disliked the original, so at least this version isn’t too much worse than it; still no good, though.

There’s no reason at all to listen to these punk-ified versions of ancient rock hits; randomly picking one of those compilations of 90’s rock that they won’t stop advertising on TV would be a much better investment, if you somehow still haven’t heard these songs enough to last an entire lifetime. These are some of the worst cover songs I’ve heard since Kerrang! let Sign have a go at Iron Maiden , and the fact that every single song here has those whiny SoCal-punk vocals, annoyingly enthusiastic back-up singing, and those relentlessly upbeat tempos pretty much renders this worthless if you aren’t into that style (and if you’re a GD reader, you probably aren’t).

I think you really need to start setting some standards for what you make the staffers review, K (Note by K: I think you need to go fuck yourself), but at least I can hope our readers got some entertainment value out of reading this (and out of that atrocious album cover as well; what’s up with Joker-kid on the far left?). Now be gone, Four Year Strong, and never bother GD with your silly shit again!

3,5

Information
Released: 2009
Label: Decaydance
Website: Four Year Strong MySpace
Band
Dan O’Connor: vocals, guitar
Alan Day: vocals, guitar
Josh Lyford: vocals, synth
Jake Massucco: drums
Joe Weiss: bass

Tracklist
01. So Much For The Afterglow
02. Absolutely (Story Of A Girl)
03. Ironic
04. Bullet With Butterfly Wings
05. Semi-Charmed Life
06. Spiderwebs
07. Roll to Me
08. Fly
09. In Bloom
10. She Really Loved You
11. She’s So High

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